Within the cluster of narcissistic mother characteristics, perfectionism is among the most common. For some narcissistic mothers, it is all about keeping up with appearances. She always has to be well groomed and manicured, looking her absolute best, whether she is going to a party or taking out the trash. Because everything with her is a competition, regardless of who she is vying against, she always has to win, no matter what the cost.
Narcissistic Mom and Envy
Another of the narcissistic mother characteristics is that she is plagued with envy and jealousy. She is envious of anyone who has something she doesn’t. Regardless of whether she needs it or not, she wants it. This “want” range from a co-worker’s new purse to her daughter’s youth and beauty. She is always working to one-up those around her and to do it with flare.
Narcissistic Mothers and Adversarial Relationships with Daughters
Another of the narcissistic mother characteristics is that she often views anyone that takes attention away from her as an adversary. One of her biggest adversaries: her daughter. Some narcissistic mothers who dress better than their daughters will make every effort to make their daughter be less appealing to others, from cutting the daughter’s hair in an unflattering way, to buying clothing two sizes too big so their daughter’s figure is hidden.
Narcissistic mothers are notoriously jealous of their younger, possibly more beautiful daughters. She wants to be able to wear what her daughter wears and to pull it off better than her daughter can. She may try to prevent her daughter from wearing makeup, grooming herself appropriately, or dating. She wants to remain the fairest of them all for as long as she possibly can.
Narcissistic mothers even compete with their daughters sexually. She may flirt with her daughter’s boyfriend or deter a man from dating her daughter in hopes that he will want her instead. She will be forward and seductive, even right in front of her daughter, to show the young puma how a real cougar can work it.
The narcissistic mother has to be the center of attention. Always. Her obsession with looks and youth can motivate her to spend insane amounts of money on clothes, jewelry, and plastic surgery. She is always in search of that fountain of youth.
Narcissistic Mom’s & Controlling Daughter’s Weight
A troublesome trait among narcissistic mother characteristics is the desire to control their daughter’s weight. Don’t ever mention the word “fat” around her. Even to be normal-sized and of a healthy weight is not acceptable for her. She needs to be skinny, model skinny. This can even lead to eating disorders.
Even though they want to be better looking than their daughters, they will even put pressure on them to lose weight if her daughter is not a size 2, because having an overweight child would be a bad direct reflection on her.
In Sum
Regarding narcissistic mothers and their daughters, as a daughter of a narcissistic mother you are seen by her as her creation to possess and it would be unacceptable for you to be anything but exactly what she wanted.
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